I firmly believe that all humans have the capacity to do great evil. This is what makes interesting characters, I think. And what makes interesting writers. Writers who admit the possibility of evil, but invent characters who rise above it.
I have a friend who is a fabulous writer, but some of the stuff he writes scares the crap out of me. I don't even know how he thinks of it, it's so wickedly awful. But in a brilliant way. He asked me to write a piece that would combine my characters and his in the setting of Holy Cross High (from Drawn to You).
We discussed it. It was perfect. Not only is Holy Cross High your typical high school with preps and geeks, goth kids and cheerleaders... It is a place where monsters dwell (his character). I thought of the perfect storyline, a way to introduce Shawna and Monster X. And it was PERFECT.
But I can't write it. I started to. But the things that happen are too disturbing. I can't tap into that dark part of me. Or, rather, I can, but I don't want to at this point in time. I feel vulnerable, like I don't want to open up that particular can of worms.
So, friend, you know who you are, and I have a good start, but I can't finish it. Not right now. The idea is perfect, but I can't articulate it just yet.
I've been thinking a lot about writers who really open themselves and let it all come gushing out, gore and all. I feel like you can't really do that with YA. You have to censor yourself, at least a little, lest it become not YA anymore. And I'm not just talking about swearing here. I'm talking about sex, violence, adult situations. Fellow YA writers, what do you think? Do you find yourself holding back at times? Have you ever had an idea that just felt like TOO MUCH? Like it would take you to a place you didn't want to go?
Lame.
6 hours ago
13 comments:
I think you're right--it's not so much that I can't write it, it's that I don't want to take my mind where it would need to go to express it.
I recently started writing a book where the girl was a rape victim, and trying to capture her mindset was genuinely depressing me. I had to stop. And especially where you are pregnant, all of the evil in the world suddenly seems that much more present, that much more threatening.
Leave it. Go back to it later ; )
My problem is not going far enough. I am not, unfortunately, as hard core as I thought I was!
Bingo, Kiersten. This is a VERY hard scene to write while pregnant.
beth, do you ever get scared by noises in the night? This is the same part of me that thinks of the gruesome creatures hiding in the attic when I'm home alone. Sometimes I wish I could turn it off.
What I've written lately has been rather low-key in terms of gore or mature themes, but I definitely have written darker before. There's a line that I can never cross though -- I could do gore out the wazoo, but never could I write a rape scene. Sometimes it adds to the novel, but sometimes, as you said, it makes it cross that line between YA and not. It's all subjective, I suppose.
Would the book you're holding off on be a sequel to DTY?
No, Sara. It's just a scene. For a friend.
Just like there are some things you don't want to put into your food, there are some things you don't want to put into your brain.
What's the Biblical quote about "mouth, defile, in, out"?
On the other hand, some of the most fun moments I have as a writer are those when a character does something that truly surprises me, that I couldn't have planned in a million years. And some of those things are truly despicable or evil, if you look at them from outside that character.
But from within, it's not all that yucky at all. "Honestly, what's your problem? I clearly needed that blonde cheerleader head to balance the composition!"
I know I can go there, but it puts me in an awful place. Goodness, I'm writing a character with anxiety and it's stressing me OUT.
It really does depend, though. I've written an abuse victim. But at that time in my life I could handle that. And the abuse was in her past, for the most part.
Right now, I need chubby bunnies and rainbows.
I don't write YA, but I agree. One of things that makes YA YA for me is the fact that it's written for younger more sensitive minds. Good YA writing isn't dumbed down, but it is more responsible to its readers, I think.
Don't cross the line. You may never come back.
I don't write YA, so I'm not sure if you want my comment. But I find that I hold back even writing adult fiction. I'm religious, and don't believe in writing everything that flows into my brain. I try to censor stuff that I'm embarrassed to have even thought of!
However, I've found that the more I remain true to my voice and what I love, even writing elements of those things that frighten me helps bring my writing more to life and more true to ME.
I don't write YA, so I don't know, LOL. I do definitely resist going places in my story, but usually that's where I need to go.
But sometimes... it's mentally exhausting. I swear to God, I have come home from writing traumatized and completely disoriented mentally. I've had to sit myself down and say to myself, "This did not happen to you. All you did today was sit in Borders and tap on keys."
It's bizarre being a writer.
I know what you mean, Jill. I think there is a time and a place for the darker kinds of stories, but you really have to be careful, IMO. Especially with YA. I can't blame you for setting the story aside.
So interesting... yes I do hold back. And I think you are fine to stay with NOT going there.
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