Sunday, January 18, 2009

where dreams and reality converge

About five years ago, I had a strange dream. I was in the hospital, in labor, working hard. But when I was finished, the doctor held up a book instead of a baby.

This became a reality only a few months ago (uh, not literally). I was pregnant, but in the end all I had to show for it was the first draft of a novel. After my loss, I put all my effort into Drawn to You. By immersing myself in Chloe and Shawna's world, I could escape the pain of my own.

Well, here we go again. It's exciting and scary. This time, I won't put away my writing in favor of daydreams of our future life. I can create a baby and a new world at the same time. However, the book is the only thing I truly have control over.

17 comments:

K. M. Walton said...

One day at a time, Jill. That's all you can do. Live, write, dream, hope...one day at a time.

I am sending you a boat-load of good vibes!

Jill Wheeler said...

Thanks. :)

Marty said...

Nothing good happens quickly - nine months is about the right time for ALL of life's changes to develop. Congrats...

sraasch said...

Firstly: coolest dream EVER.

Secondly: Ditto to KM. One day at a time. "You can't rush art" -- in reality or dreams.

Thirdly: Congratulations! A baby and a book...teehee

Kmart said...

"This time, I won't put away my writing in favor of daydreams of our future life. I can create a baby and a new world at the same time."

Well said.

Lapillus said...

Beautiful post. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Congrats!

Lisa and Laura said...

Jill - As you've learned, motherhood changes you the second you conceive a baby and one of the best things you can do for yourself and your baby is maintain your sense of self.

Keep up your writing and take good care of yourself. Sending lots of happy, healthy vibes your way!

spyscribbler said...

Wow, what a dream! Last night I dreamt I had a thirty pound baby boy. A big guy. Huge! Probably forty pounds. The childbirth was interesting, but I won't get graphic on you.

*hugs* I've got everything rooting for you, Jill!

Lady Glamis said...

I am so excited for you! Congratulations! I'm glad to hear you're going to keep writing. It's so good to keep up those things that make you "you" :)

Corey Schwartz said...

Oh, Jill, I can really relate. I lost a baby five months into my first pregnancy. I know how scary it can be the second time around! (But I do have two beautiful kids now.)

Wishing you a happy ending.

Corey

Katie said...

I have been there too. It's amazing how common it is - but you've written a beautiful post and I wish you the best!

I love what all of your commenters have said. A very wise group :-)

Maggie said...

Congrats on the baby news! How awesome! :D

Christine said...

Wow! Just wow!

Congratulations! This is such an exciting time for you! I wish you the best of health!

Christine

Lauren said...

So sorry to hear about your previous loss. Good luck with both the baby and the book. You can definitely do both!

slhastings said...

Oh, Jill! This time you're going to have your cake and eat it too! I'm so sorry you had to go through such a trying experience!

Stay healthy...and stay warm!

Renee Collins said...

This IS an exciting and scary time for you! Hopefully more exciting, though. :)

spinregina said...

Life can be so twisty/turny, hey? I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, and so happy to hear of your news. All the best, with everything.